When Serbian police arrived at our home to arrest me after I helped organize the Kosovo independence referendum of September 1991, my six-year-old daughter run to the officer crying, "Please do not arrest my best friend!" In that moment, a child's innocence confronting state violence, I understood that our story was not just about survival. It was about the human cost of systematic oppression.
Fear and Hate chronicles my life under Serbian occupation in Kosovo from childhood through forced exile to Canada. As a journalist for Rilindja and a human rights worker with the Council for the Defense of Human Rights and Freedoms, I documented atrocities that reached the United Nations and appeared in Human Rights Watch reports. This memoir preserves testimony of events I witnessed firsthand: my cousin's murder by regime forces, border torture, interrogations, and the systematic persecution of 850,000 Kosovars.
But this book's power lies in the intimate moments that reveal what occupation truly means: my wife Meri walking into a neutral zone with a Serbian police officer's machine gun aimed at her chest, determined to get food for our starving children. Our daughter Silva, caught in the crossfire between two armies, lying in snow all day wondering " if this was how dying begins." Our family hiding wedding rings in a hollow tree before fleeing, hoping someday to return.
The memoir culminates in March 1999, when war forced an impossible choice: I led thirteen young men across a 2,498-meter mountain at night while my wife and children fled on tractors below, separated by conflict, unsure if we would ever reunite.
Yet this is also a story of unexpected grace: the Serbian doctor who performed free surgery despite personal risk, the Macedonian officer who found our lost daughter in border chaos, the Canadian community that welcomed refugees with open hearts. It documents not just how we survived, but how we rebuilt with dignity across twenty-seven years of exile.
Twenty-seven years later, with ten grandchildren spread across Canada and Germany, I write: "The ache of exile lingers, but so does the quiet strength of a life rebuilt with dignity."
Fear and Hate offers both historical documentation and intimate family narrative, a testament to love's endurance under oppression, the cost of resistance, and the possibility of grace even in humanity's darkest hours.
Perfect for readers of the Beekeeper of Aleppo, We Wish to Inform You That Tomorrow We Will Be Killed With Our Families, and The Unwanted.
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